Au Revoir

I'm at a loss to say where the last month or so has gone, as I sit here in my new room in Edinburgh.

The last year or so has certainly been interesting. What started as a mild inquiry turned into far more than I ever could have anticipated, the small stream in which I had happily been playing turning into a wide-eyed raging river of leather, breasts and latex.

All good fun and sport.

I find it hard to remember being the person who started out on that particular journey, and to be honest I'm confused where I am along that path now. At the beginning I thought I was embarking along a clearly defined path of hedonism, but since then I've discovered that there is no such thing as vanilla, only those who haven't figured it out yet, and thus the new identity for myself suddenly looked exactly as it had always done. I had gone full circle.

I can scarce remember the 'group therapy' sessions with my beloved nibblers, even even less so the Dark, ST and Crimson 'book clubs'. I find that time serves only to make it all a more alien and incomprehensible experience, like a dream. I came to the conclusion that the perversions of the few are better served by one than the many, and so in the spiraling clusterfuck of confusion that was my life mid-summer I concentrated on one special girl.

Slowly but surely, I had all my libido fucked out of me like the last minute of the last hour in the last day by a blonde vixen, and now I wander the streets of Edinburgh a mental eunuch. A month or two of chastity and perhaps the Hunger will return, and probably, this will be good for my study habits. Time will tell.

Certainly though, I have enjoyed the last few months of my own private submissive, if she could be called that. The usual learned definitions did not fit our roles; there grew between us a rich and powerful psychology that fostered a strange but wonderful intimacy, and I savored it every day I had it. I'd miss her if I didn't already know she's coming up to see me soon. I suppose I'd better start doing some ab crunches or something.

As a whole, however, the memories outweigh the regrets, my only real sorrow being that I didn't really get to say goodbye to anyone before I left. So let me just say now then that I think of you all as my friends and when I'm next in London I'll be sure to drop in for chat and... well, other things I'm sure.

Ta ta,

Vice