Ask of this heart to love and it shall

I am yours

I knew the second you came over that anything of me that you wanted was yours.

Yes, awkward though those first moments were, the avoiding of eye contact, the careful positioning when close to one another, treading softly through stuttered conversation and the awful silence of jokes that would otherwise be funny if it wasn't so strange to be near you again, awkward though this is something about seeing you again really is truly wonderful.

But it's not being around you that's causing so much trouble. I find I'm having a hard time stopping my heart from smiling through every pore in my body. I can hardly contain myself, and I feel giddy from the very effort of it. The sheer realisation that I could just give myself over is exciting and sudden, and I'm not quite sure what to do now so I just look at you and laugh at my own private joke.

All the love that I can muster is yours to do with as you please, and I care not whether you take it or how you dispose of me but I am filled rather with the wonderment that so small a person can carry so boundless an emotion, nor not feel the burden of sacrifice. Indeed, I am freed by it.

And then the question of how to approach the task at hand.

I am troubled by my obliviousness to all those who seek me out. Many are the time it required a sharp blow to the head before I realised that I was being seduced, and so I now decree that the lesson has been learned, and the student has become the master. Too many opportunities have I let go un-seized, and thus it is in the future I seek to amend them.

Staring into my half-empty cocktail glass, I resolved within myself that I will have you by the end of the night; and so it was that when you found me alone, I pulled you in and kissed you as passionately as I would allow myself, from the bursting of a dam inside me to an outpouring of love that followed soon after.

I give myself willingly and wholehearted to you. Whatsoever of me that you desire is yours to do with as you will, whether you will have me as friend or lover I do not care so long as I can give more of this love to someone who provokes so much of it in me.