First and foremost; kink must be !!FUN!!. There is no other ultimate goal, no higher purpose; only the simple trickle of endorphins in the company of people who are friends. Every action, every word that takes place during play, must be for this purpose and this purpose alone. Anything done in order to get the better of the other person, anything to hinder their ability to have !!FUN!!, anything that causes their flow of endorphins to stop, is against the entire spirit of the venture and that person will be excluded from play. At least from me.
With that in mind, There are three identifiable routes to take in kink in order to achieve a flow of endorphins:
Pleasure via Pain
Counter intuitive only to those who have never experienced it; the flood of endorphins after enduring brief periods of pain is overwhelming and potent. Guiding a bottom into subspace is the ultimate goal of any true top. Pleasure gained by the top in inflicting pain (something I personally don't enjoy that much except for the bottom'a happiness) is secondary to the bottom's needs.
Pleasure via Pleasure
More easy to understand to the average person; fucking each other's brains out and bringing each other to orgasm. Possibly multiple times. Both partners are equally responsible for the other's pleasure; the sum of the two parts must be greater than the sum of each partner alone. In the same way that my first point is so overlooked by those not in the lifestyle, I found it surprising sometimes how overlooked this avenue was compared to the first.
"Other"
Here is where the true spectrum of kink lies. Whether it's from cleaning someone's house, from licking their boots, to being verbally abused or degraded, this is the category for it. Everyone is different and has their own personal tastes, and while everyone should oblige those who have them to the best of their ability, no-one should force their particular tastes on those who don't share them. Also under this category however, is the simple and divine pleasure derived from cuddling on the couch after a play session watching Firefly, or the delightful feeling of two bodies sleeping next to one another who have drunk too much wine. Not all time spent together need be role played.
