What a difference a quick jerk made

never make decisions until you've rubbed one out

How strange that the little blonde nymph could actually make me confused about whether I wanted her or not.

After she found out about the little brunette nymph, I knew nothing could ever happen between us again, and I gave her last week to cool off after she declared her undying love for me. Definately thought the better of seeing her again. At the same time, the brunette decides to go on holiday, and thus your host Vice is left without women for a while.

Hell, maybe I needed to cool off. Since I've come back from holiday I've felt so oversaturated with sex that I've barely remembered what it was like for a whole month this summer not to get any action. Hey, it's all good, women are hard to come by in the middle of the ocean, and I've been warned against mermaids.

I never trust a pussy that smells like fish.

Anyway, back to today, when I talked to the blonde for the first time in a week. Lo and behold, she seems to jump at the chance to mention that she's planning on sleeping with another guy when he gets to her house. Unexpectedly, I actually felt... what? Jealously? Confusion? Conflicting emotions? I'm not entirely sure what. I think a part of me was reluctant to give up what I saw as a consistantly viable source of action, and another part was sad to see her go. I mean, it's been a while since I've had someone care about me as much as she did, and I guess a part of me was getting used to that.

Then, after a week of absent-minded abstinence, I pull it out and whack one off.

My God, my head feels like the clouds have left. My thoughts, so clear! All of a sudden it all became so clear again. She's a psycho; a very nice psycho who I like hanging out with but not someone I should be seeing by any stretch of the imagination. The brunette is right down the street from me and is far more intellectually sound; thereby a much more viable option for action.

I feel so at peace with myself. Thank you, masturbation god, for accepting my sacrifice of 120,000 innocent sperm on your altar of penisdom.