Insights

a heart in chains is a heart set free

It was earlier this summer that I rented a movie called 'Secretary' in a fit of boredom from Amazon rentals. The cover of the movie alone was enough to perk me up, and I thought it wouldn't hurt to rent it.

What I expected was a thin layer of plot over a rauncious three-hour sex session. What I found was quite different. Could this film actually be erotic (and it was very erotic, I rewound several scenes for closer examination) and still be classified as art? Yes, it very definately could. Could it be moving and intensely interesting? Yes and yes.

Porn never looked so cheap and tacky.

But now that I'd stumbled upon this genre, where were the other movies that were as provocative as this? Where else can I find something that turns on more than just my johnson? Where you can see the actors aren't just thinking about the money?

And that is how I found The Story of O.



In essence, the story is about a woman known only as O, who takes the word submissive to a new level. She belongs (and I mean the word quite literally) to a man called Rene, who we see in the film is her master. To any other person, they would appear as normal as any other couple, but behind this exterior there is an altogether different view. O submits to Rene's every demand. He tells her she must sit with nothing between her skin and the seat, and she does. As a symbol of her ownership, she must wear white garters, and she does. She states several times that she belongs to him utterly, and that it is a product of her love for him.

So what happens when Rene sends her to a country house where she becomes a servant to the male occupants of the house, and submit to their every demand? Be whipped and used as a sexual plaything? She relishes it. Even when a particularly infatuated groundkeeper takes her in the stairway, she professes her love for the him. Why? Because she has 'nothing but love for anything that is sent from Rene'.

But here's what makes O and Rene's relationship so interesting. Despite being in bondage to Rene, O is never forced to do anything, everything she does is her choice, she is reminded several times during the movie she can leave. This makes her and her relationships very interesting indeed.

Rene is also an interesting character. I for one could never stand the idea of my lover being with another man, but Rene sees things much differently. He owns O, and to send her to another man, to tell her to be with him, is 'proof of his ownership'. The fact that he can give her to whom he will is the ultimate act of possession. Some people can't understand why anyone would get why this turns other people on, or how this could possibly enter a caring, loving relationship. I'll tell you why.

When you love someone, you profess your trust in them. You ask their opinions on things, you let them make decisions for you, you even trust them to go out to that party without the need to call them every hour. But how deep does that trust really have to go? Not very deep.

To be completely at the mercy of the one you love, that is when you feel the real depths of the faith you have in them. That person may even start to hurt you (of course by this point the boundary between pain and pleasure are blurred) but this only reminds you of the power they have over you. You are completely helpless and at their mercy, but this is precisely why you do it, because after you have been completely vulnerable to someone you let them in to a part of yourself they could never have gotten to otherwise.

From the position of the one being submitted to, it is an awesome display of reliance. The one before you is completely at your mercy, and is in this position under their own free will, demonstrating their love and faith in one simple gesture. You might inflict a small amount of pain on them, demonstrate that they are yours to do with as you please, and you will marvel at how they feel safe enough to yield themselves completely. When someone else shows how deeply and unquestioningly they trust you, you can lower your emotional walls. You feel completely safe with that person.

BDSM may not be everyone's thing, but I think in some ways we do it every day, even if it is in a different form. It may have gotten a bad rep from leather-outfitted gimps on tacky porno films as something disgusting and vulgar, but there is the potential for a kind of bonding experience that goes beyond spiritual, and it can lead to relationships on levels barely even known about.

Levels I want to visit, when I find the right person.